A Christmas Story! Same Old Same Old
by PizzaCatDavid
Summary: RATED PG: Contains mild swearing. Just a same old Christmas story? Well, not really...it gets a bit silly later on.
1. The Card

A Christmas Story (Same Ol' Same Ol')  
  
NOTE: I don't own these characters but only myself.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
NARRATOR: It's a bright new day in Little Tokyo, just like any other cartoon but this day is very special, it's Christmas eve. Better than Christmas day you say? Yes it is because I get to watch people do there last minute shopping and writing out pointless Christmas cards to people they don't even know, it's nice to see people suffer. Don't people ever learn, I bought my Christmas presents ages out and sent off my cards back in November!  
  
SPEEDY: Shut up, Mr. Perfect!  
  
NARRATOR: I'm just setting up a good example. Geez, who gave you the scrooge?  
  
SPEEDY: No one, it's just we still have to work today!  
  
NARRATOR: Yeah, like all the other millions of people.  
  
The three other cats entered the kitchen, all with smiles on their faces.  
  
GUIDO: Yeah! Just one more day!  
  
FRANCINE: Then we can open our presents!  
  
POLLY: Remember guys, it isn't just all gifts and presents, it's the giving and loving.  
  
Guido and Francine look at her oddly.  
  
GUIDO: No it's not!  
  
FRANCINE: its getting presents and lots of them!  
  
POLLY: (Rolls her eyes) Oh brother.  
  
GUIDO: Oh boy, I hope I get the back stracher 3000!  
  
FRANCINE: And I'm hoping to get the new claw vanish, the one that changes colour all the time!  
  
Polly watched the two discussing of what they were hoping to get, she turned and saw Speedy, he was sitting at the table, looking glum. Polly decided to see what was up.  
  
NARRATOR: Hey, writer, I'm the Narrator, I should be discussing the cats actions!  
  
POLLY: Hey Speedy, why so serious, aren't you excited about the comet?  
  
SPEEDY: (Sighs) Wrong line, Polly.  
  
POLLY: Oh whoops, I mean have you seen Kill Bill, it's fantastic!  
  
NARRATOR: Wrong again, it's: "Cheer up Speedy, it's the Christmas season"  
  
POLLY: I knew that.  
  
SPEEDY: I know it is, but in an hour's time, we've got to get to work and that'll make the day go slow.  
  
NARRATOR: I'm already bored and we've only gone through one minute if script.  
  
POLLY: Look on the bright side, we're gonna check the mail for-  
  
GUIDO: CHRISTMAS CARDS!  
  
Guido runs to the door and in seconds comes back with a huge sack, he puts it on the table.  
  
FRANCINE: That was quick.  
  
GUIDO: I got it from the prop room.  
  
POLLY: Wow that's a lot of cards.  
  
NARRATOR: Most of it is torn pieces of paper to make the effect.  
  
GUIDO: Let's sort them out before we start work.  
  
SPEEDY: Yeah, why not!  
  
NARRATOR: Well, after sorting out the cards they made four piles and I bet most of them they sent to themselves. They begin to open them.  
  
FRANCINE: "To Francine, Merry Christmas, love Bucky" That's nice of him.  
  
SPEEDY: "To Speedy, love you lots, from Polly" Thanks Polly!  
  
Polly was blushing brightly. The cats carried on opening their cards.  
  
GUIDO: "Dear Guido, we are sorry to inform you that we have terminated your membership to the Lesbian Lick Club, due to the fact that we found out you are a guy and if you show your face here again, we will kill you. Thank you." Ah nuts! (Everybody looks at him oddly) What? They play good music!  
  
SPEEDY: Right.  
  
GUIDO: What? They do!  
  
FRANCINE: No, it's true, they do. (Now everyone looks at her) What?  
  
Polly begins to open hers.  
  
POLLY: "To Miss Stinky Breath, have a crappy Christmas" (Angry) Who the hell sent me this?  
  
NARRATOR: Gee (Sniggers) I wonder...heehee!  
  
POLLY: Why are you laughing?  
  
NARRATOR: Oh...uh...I was just laughing at...a...uh...a joke that Guido told me earlier.  
  
GUIDO: Huh? I didn't tell you a joke.  
  
NARRATOR: Sure you did, the one about the...uh...pink elephants!  
  
GUIDO: Pink elephants? I don't remember that.  
  
POLLY: That's because Guido didn't tell you a joke, you liar, you sent the card!  
  
GUIDO: Why did you look at me when you said that?  
  
POLLY: Who am I supposed to look at? The Narrator is just a voice!  
  
NARRATOR: Yes I sent it, it was just a joke, no hard feelings, Polly.  
  
POLLY: Well, okay, but pull a stunt like that again, I shove this hard up you where it won't come out!  
  
NARRATOR: Yes sir. (Whispers) Miss Flat Chest!  
  
POLLY: What was that?  
  
NARRATOR: I said I'd love to go to space and start a new life up there and get a good view of Earth.  
  
POLLY: Oh, so would I!  
  
NARRATOR: Phew!  
  
Speedy picks up a card but something strange was happening to it.  
  
SPEEDY: Hmm...this one seems to be ticking. (The others look at him with concern. He pulls the card from the envelope, it is still ticking) Aw, there's a little robin on the front. (He opens the card) "To Speedy, my new best friend, I'm sorry I caused trouble for you and this town, please accept this Christmas bomb which will go off from 30 as soon as you open it. No hard feelings. Love the Big Cheese" Hey, maybe he's not a bad guy after all!  
  
POLLY: SPEEDY, YOU PICKLEHEAD!  
  
Polly snatches the card and runs out of the parlour, just then there was a huge explosion and Polly went flying through a window and crashed into some tables and chairs.  
  
FRANCINE: OH MY WORD!  
  
GUIDO: OH MY GOD!  
  
SPEEDY: OH, MY CARD!  
  
Speedy ran outside while Guido and Francine went to Polly's aid, they moved some chairs and tables that were on top of her. Polly had her eyes closed and she wasn't breathing.  
  
FRANCINE: Guido, she's not breathing.  
  
GUIDO: Oh no.  
  
FRANCINE: What are we going to do?  
  
GUIDO: Don't worry, I learnt this off the TV, they do this thing and then the person comes back to life!  
  
FRANCINE: What's that then?  
  
GUIDO: Call 911!  
  
Polly was now pale, Francine checked for a pulse but their wasn't one. Polly was dead.  
  
FRANCINE: Guido, she's dead!  
  
GUIDO: No, she can't be, we were gonna do a sequel to "Chasing Polly"  
  
FRANCINE: You can't, Div hasn't got the copyright to do it!  
  
GUIDO: Oh yeah.  
  
NARRATOR: Hi guys, what did I miss?  
  
FRANCINE: Where the hell have you been?  
  
NARRATOR: I want for a coffee. Hey, why does Polly look like she ran out the parlour with a Christmas card which was a bomb that exploded in her face and chucked her through a window and landed into some tables and chairs?  
  
Guido and Francine looked at each other oddly.  
  
GUIDO: That's because she did!  
  
FRANCINE: And now she's dead!  
  
NARRATOR: She's dead? Dead? DEAD? NNOOO! WHY GOD WHY, WHY DID YOU TAKE THIS FULL-HEARTED GIRL AWAY FROM US? (Pause) Was that a bit over the top?  
  
GUIDO: No, that was pretty good. Best voice acting I've from you for ages.  
  
NARRATOR: Ah shucks, thanks. Oh, I mean...boo-hoo, I wish I didn't call her Miss Flat Chest.  
  
Suddenly Polly's heart starts beating, getting faster and faster, she opened her eyes and gritted her teeth, clenching her fists and her pink fur starts turning into an angry blood red.  
  
POLLY: SO, you DID call me something!  
  
She gets on her feet and jumps out of the cartoon. After a few silent moments a door was heard opening.  
  
NARRATOR: AAAHHHHHH!  
  
POLLY: So, your not just a voice, hey are those my thongs?  
  
NARRATER: Uh...do you believe in lies?  
  
POLLY: No!  
  
There was then sound of punching and kicking, the Narrator was screaming in a high-pitched voice. Then a slight pause.  
  
NARRATOR: What are you doing with that Chainsaw? No, put it away, put it away, No please NO DON'T DO IT! NNNNOOOOOO! (A sound of chainsaw slicing something) AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE PAIN, THE PAIN! STOP! PLEASE! AAAHHHHHHHH! MERCY, MERCY!  
  
GUIDO: Why is he saying thank you in French?  
  
FRANCINE: It's also a form to say "Stop", but I guess they both implied.  
  
NARRATOR: DANKE! DANKE!  
  
GUIDO: German?  
  
FRANCINE: Okay, maybe he really does mean "Thank you"  
  
The sound of the chainsaw stops. Footsteps are heard and Polly comes back into the cartoon. She was wiping her hands.  
  
GUIDO: Did you hurt him bad?  
  
POLLY: Him? Of course not, I just sliced up his rubber duck and teddy bear.  
  
GUIDO: That was bad, Polly.  
  
POLLY: What?  
  
Speedy walked back into the parlour.  
  
SPEEDY: You ruined my card, Polly.  
  
FRANCINE: You dummy, Speedy, it was a bomb!  
  
SPEEDY: Now why would Big Cheese send me a bomb when he wrote "My New Best Friend"  
  
GUIDO: I think he meant dead friend!  
  
FRANCINE: How do you explain the explosion?  
  
SPEEDY: It was a sound card, maybe it ran out of battery.  
  
FRANCINE: Stupid!  
  
SPEEDY: Anyway, I put the card back together. (Holds up the card) It still has that annoying ticking though.  
  
G+P+F: SPEEDY, YOU PICKLEHEAD! 


	2. The Broken Present

Chapter 2  
  
NIGHT. PARLOUR LIVING ROOM.  
  
DIV: For the record, the bomb didn't go off, you must be insane to make one, Speedy is just stupid. I'm taking over for the Narrator because he's gone to visit his rubber duck and teddy bear in hospital. Loony! On with this Christmas special, the cats have gone to sleep; it's two in the morning. So peaceful at night, there are tons of presents under the tree, I wonder if they got me anything.  
  
A figure came downstairs and switched the torch on; he headed to the living room.  
  
DIV: Oh no, a bugler.  
  
SPEEDY: Shh, keep it down!  
  
DIV: Speedy? Oh man, you had me worried. I thought you were asleep.  
  
SPEEDY: I'm too excited to sleep. It's Christmas day!  
  
DIV: Shouldn't you wait for the rest to wake up?  
  
SPEEDY: They put their alarm clocks on for eight, I'm not waiting that long!  
  
DIV: Your gonna open your presents now?  
  
SPEEDY: I'm just seeing which presents are mine.  
  
DIV: Right.  
  
Speedy picks up the first present he see's and shakes it.  
  
SPEEDY: Gee, I hope this one is mine. (He hears a crack from the box and then the sound of broken glass) Gee, I hope this one is for Guido.  
  
DIV: There's a tag on it, Speedy.  
  
Speedy read the tag and was horrified to what he saw.  
  
SPEEDY: WAAA! IT'S POLLY'S PRESENT!  
  
DIV: Oh boy, you're in deep water now.  
  
SPEEDY: SHE'S GONNA FREAK!  
  
DIV: Cool it man, she'll blame who brought it.  
  
SPEEDY: IT'S FROM ME!  
  
DIV: YES! This gets better and better.  
  
FRANCINE: (From upstairs) Did you guys hear that?  
  
SPEEDY: Oh no.  
  
DIV: Speedy, hide, I'll stall them.  
  
SPEEDY: How?  
  
DIV: I'll think of something. Just hide!  
  
Speedy jumped behind the sofa. Guido, Polly and Francine entered the living room, all holding torches, pointing them all in different directions. Nothing could be found but there was a lone present away from the pile.  
  
POLLY: Look, that presents been moved.  
  
FRANCINE: Guido, turn on the lights.  
  
GUIDO: Okay.  
  
Guido claps his hands twice and the lights came on.  
  
FRANCINE: Uh...I didn't know we had clappers!  
  
GUIDO: Neither did I.  
  
FRANCINE: Then why did you clap?  
  
GUIDO: You know, I don't know.  
  
POLLY: Someone was here, but why?  
  
GUIDO: Everything seems normal though.  
  
POLLY: (Walking to the present) Except for this.  
  
She was about to pick it up, Speedy gasped in horror, he was biting his nails, if Polly heard her present was full of broken glass, she would be mad. Just then Div entered the cartoon. Polly got up straight.  
  
DIV: Hey Polly, good to see ya.  
  
POLLY: Yeah...great.  
  
Div pushes the present to the pile with his foot.  
  
FRANCINE: Was you talking a while ago?  
  
DIV: Yeah.  
  
FRANCINE: Who with? There were two of you.  
  
DIV: Oh yeah, that. Well, I was...talking to myself.  
  
FRANCINE: Yourself?  
  
DIV: Yep, I was in the toilet and I was making these silly little voices.  
  
POLLY: What was you doing in the toilet?  
  
DIV: (Looks at her oddly) What else could I do in the toilet?  
  
GUIDO: Say, where's Speedy?  
  
DIV: Never mind that, I've got you your new scripts.  
  
He hands them three scripts, they all looked thrilled.  
  
GUIDO: "Achilles Heel". Wow, this looks cool.  
  
FRANCINE: Hey, I'm not in this!  
  
DIV: Oh sorry, that's Speedy's.  
  
POLLY: Wait a second, you didn't write this! You just crossed out the real writers name and put your above it!  
  
DIV: You seeing things, get your eyes tested!  
  
POLLY: It also said under your name: "I stole this script and this is not mine"  
  
DIV: I must've have been drunk when I wrote that.  
  
POLLY: It also said: "I was not drunk, I really did steal this script and I'm gonna make lots of money out of it"  
  
DIV: Ah, well...you see-  
  
POLLY: One of these days, your gonna get sued!  
  
DIV: Yeah right and the capital of Luxembourg is Luxembourg  
  
POLLY: It is!  
  
DIV: It is? Oh.  
  
FIVE MINUTES LATER.  
  
The other cats went to bed thanks to Div's bonus pay or bribe as it's called today. Speedy comes out of his hiding and straight away goes to Polly's present and starts opening it, ripping the paper off. Div comes downstairs to the living room.  
  
DIV: Hey, do you really think I'll get sued?  
  
SPEEDY: Right now I don't care. Your suppose to be Narrating!  
  
DIV: (Sighs) Speedy is now horrified, afraid to see the damage in the box.  
  
SPEEDY: (Looks inside) AAAHHHHH!  
  
DIV: Speedy's scream signifies that what is in the box is no more. (Looks himself) Whoa, it's just glass and lots of it.  
  
SPEEDY: I'm doomed.  
  
DIV: What Speedy brought for Polly was a well crafted hand made glass figure of Garfield standing up with a tray of lasagne. What is our hero going to do? This is the worst situtation Speedy has been in since agreeing to be in "Cats and Dogs 2: Bad Kitty"!  
  
SPEEDY: Hey, hang on a sec', I've got an idea!  
  
DIV: Your gonna replace the present?  
  
SPEEDY: No, I was gonna ask if you had any suggestions.  
  
DIV: Oh, sorry man, I don't.  
  
SPEEDY: Nuts! Wait, I'll replace the present, I'll get her another one!  
  
DIV: That's a great idea Speedy, although I'm sure I said something like that!  
  
SPEEDY: Right, I'll get changed, turn off all the alarms from the clocks, run to the shops, buy another figure, wrap it up and sneak off into bed. The perfect crime!  
  
DIV: Do you think you can pull this off?  
  
SPEEDY: Nope! Bit it's worth a try. (Goes upstairs)  
  
DIV: (A small sigh) He's dead!  
  
FRANCINE'S ROOM.  
  
Speedy enters Francine's room. He walks quietly to her bed desk; he keeps treading on things and tripping over. He eventually makes it and turns the alarm off her clock, it makes a clicking sound and Francine turns to one side and mumbles. Speedy sneaks to the next room.  
  
GUIDO'S ROOM.  
  
He entered Guido's room and was amused to see him sucking his thumb and a teddy bear tucked under his arm. Speedy tiptoed to Guido's alarm clock; he then accidentally kicked a CD case, which was on the floor. Speedy froze, as Guido moved from the sound but didn't wake him up, instead he spoke in his sleep.  
  
GUIDO: (Mumbles) No daddy, don't touch me there.  
  
Speedy looked at Guido oddly but then decided not to go there. He turned off the alarm and sneaked out of the room. Two down one to go.  
  
POLLY'S ROOM.  
  
Now for the tough part of the mission. Speedy was shaking as he entered Polly's room. She was peacefully asleep, Speedy was careful where he was treading but then he stood on a creaking floorboard, Speedy gasped and froze, Polly mumbled. Speedy sighed in relieve, he was about to turn the clock off but then:  
  
DIV: How's it going, Speedy?  
  
POLLY: HEY-YAA!  
  
Polly jumped out of her bed and started kicking and punching all over the place getting Speedy in the process, he was kicked across the face, the impact forcing him to flying into the bed desk and smashing the alarm clock. Polly then went for Div; Polly jumped towards him, sticking out her leg.  
  
DIV: WAA!  
  
Div ducked in time and Polly went through the wall into Guido's room.  
  
GUIDO: (Still asleep) Daddy, what's the whip for?  
  
DIV: Phew that was close.  
  
But then Polly makes another huge hole in the wall as she punches through it, she then grabs Div and starts spinning him around, then letting him go as he smacks into a wall. Polly then yawns and climbs back to bed.  
  
DIV: (In slight pain) Thank God this is a cartoon, the pain doesn't hurt as much. (Looks at Polly in bed) What the? You mean Polly was asleep the WHOLE TIME?  
  
SPEEDY: (Gets up and rubs his head) Yeah, she was sleep-fighting, she tends to do that sometimes. Well, that's the alarms sorted; now to get Polly's present! 


	3. The Pointless Plot

Chapter 3  
  
NOTE: I don't own the scenes from the Raiders of the Lost Ark.  
  
A FEW HOURS LATER.  
  
DIV: To cut the story short, Speedy has tried every shop there is in Little Tokyo but all of them are closed, well it is nearly four in the morning.  
  
SPEEDY: Geez, I guess I better face the music.  
  
DIV: Oh come on, "Mad World" isn't all that bad!  
  
SPEEDY: I meant a big bashing from Polly!  
  
DIV: Oh, that.  
  
STRANGER: Hey buddy.  
  
SPEEDY: Huh?  
  
A figure was leaning against a wall, next to a door. His face was hidden.  
  
STRANGER: You trying to look for a present for your girlfriend?  
  
SPEEDY: Oh no, I'm not fooling for that trick, I'm not gonna buy some stupid mirror like the last time.  
  
STRANGER: No bullshit, I have the present what your girlfriend wants. The Garfield figure standing up with a tray of lasangea.  
  
SPEEDY: How do you know that?  
  
STRANGER: That's what it said in the script.  
  
SPEEDY: Okay, how much?  
  
STRANGER: No cash, I'll give it to you for free.  
  
SPEEDY: Really? No catches, no gimmicks, no challenge and no "believe in yourself" crap?  
  
STRANGER: Of course there is, wouldn't be a story then.  
  
SPEEDY: (Whispers to himself) Damn writer! (Sighs) Okay, what do I have to do?  
  
STRANGER: Go through this door, your goal is at the end!  
  
SPEEDY: Okay!  
  
DIV: Wait for me!  
  
Div jumped from nowhere, he stood next to Speedy, wearing clean trousers and shirt, with a leather jacket and a cowboy-like hat. He was also holding a whip. Speedy looked at him oddly.  
  
SPEEDY: What on Earth are you wearing?  
  
DIV: My Indiana Jones gear.  
  
SPEEDY: You look odd.  
  
DIV: And a talking Samurai pizza-eating cat isn't?  
  
SPEEDY: Okay, you've made your point!  
  
Speedy and Div entered the building.  
  
CAVE. TUNNEL.  
  
After going through the door, they found themselves in a long cave, cob webs everywhere and everything seemed to be damp.  
  
SPEEDY: This is getting silly, it's supposed to be a Christmas special. (To Div) You knew this was coming didn't you?  
  
Div nodded, Speedy sighed and walked ahead of Div. From nowhere Div pulled out a flame torch and carried on walking. Eventually they both came to a ray of light. They stared at it. Speedy kneeled down, avoiding the light.  
  
SPEEDY: Stay out of the light.  
  
Div did so, Speedy crawled under the light, he stuck out his hand and found the light switch, he clicked it and the light went off.  
  
SPEEDY: Okay, come on through.  
  
The next task was the pit.  
  
DIV: Don't worry, I'll get us across.  
  
Div got out his whip, he whipped at a brunch, which was above the pit, it got wrapped round the brunch and Div swung over the pit on to the other side.  
  
DIV: Your turn.  
  
SPEEDY: No need.  
  
Speedy took a long runner and jumped over the pit with ease, Speedy smiled.  
  
DIV: Oh yeah, I forgot cats could do that.  
  
SPEEDY: Come on, time is wasting.  
  
The next scene was a large room; their goal was at the end. The Garfield figure was shining brightly. The room didn't look suspicious.  
  
DIV: There it is, there is nothing for us to fear!  
  
SPEEDY: (Grabs Div) Have you seen the movie?  
  
DIV: Yeah.  
  
SPEEDY: Then you'll be able to remember, won't you.  
  
Speedy gently pushes the stepping stone and a Ping-Pong ball shoots out of the wall and hits Div on the head.  
  
DIV: OWIE!  
  
SPEEDY: I was expecting something more deadly. Wait here.  
  
DIV: You're the boss!  
  
Speedy was treading carefully, sometimes making long steps until he lost his balance and pushed one of the stones, thus a Ping-Pong ball hitting Div.  
  
DIV: OW!  
  
Speedy fell over, pressing several stepping stones and all the Ping-Pong balls were hitting Div.  
  
DIV: OW! YAA! OWIE! OH! OW! EEK! OWIE AGAIN! YA-OOW! STOP-OW-FALLING-OW-ON- OW-THE-OW-STEPPING-OOOOWWWW-STONES! OWW!  
  
Speedy sniggered; he got up and went up some steps. There it was, the hand made glass figure of Garfield, holding up a lasangea. Speedy wiped his forehead and rubbed his mouth. He then reached out his hands and gently grabbed the object, nothing happened; he raised it from where it was sitting. Speedy looked at it, the object reflecting in his eyes.  
  
DIV: Hey Speedy, I think we better get out of here, I'm not sure what the special effects guys are gonna do!  
  
Speedy turned around and started running towards Div but each stepping stone he stood on shot a Ping-Pong ball at Div.  
  
DIV: OW! OWIE! EEKK! QUIT IT! OW! AAAHHHH! OOOOOOWWWW!  
  
SPEEDY: Let's get out of here!  
  
Div agreed, they started running, the place was starting to fall apart. They both jumped the pit and carried on running. They came to a sudden halt when they heard a loud rumble; they turned around and saw a large boulder rolling towards them.  
  
SPEEDY: OH MY GOD! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?  
  
DIV: Well Speedy, there's this thing called "Make Believe", not everything has to make scesne.  
  
SPEEDY: RUN, FOOL!  
  
Speedy runs off.  
  
DIV: Dude, it's not real, it's just a giant sponge ball. (It was heading towards Div at a tremendous speed) Then again, WAIT FOR ME!  
  
To late, Div was squashed to death. Speedy ran towards the door, he charged into it and slammed the door open, he fell over but quickly got up and closed the door. He panted, he then checked to see if the glass figure was in piece. It was, no straches or chippings. Speedy sighed in relieve. Then strangely Div appeared.  
  
DIV: Boy, that was fun.  
  
SPEEDY: (Gasping) Are you joking? (Releases) I thought you were dead?  
  
DIV: I am.  
  
SPEEDY: Right...anyway I better get home and wrap this up. (Looks at his watch) WAA! IT'S EIGHT ALREADY? WHERE DID THE TIME GO?  
  
DIV: I guess it couldn't wait.  
  
Speedy ran home as quickly as he could.  
  
NEXT MORNING. 10am.  
  
Speedy was downstairs making some tea. He then heard several footsteps coming down the stairs. Guido, Polly and Francine were all in their nightclothes all looking rather tired.  
  
SPEEDY: Hi guys, did you get some good sleep?  
  
GUIDO: Yeah but too good, someone turned off the alarms!  
  
SPEEDY: Gee, that sucks!  
  
POLLY: There are two massive holes in my room, what happened there?  
  
SPEEDY: You were sleep fighting again!  
  
POLLY: I was? (Speedy nods and she blushed) oops.  
  
FRANCINE: I could've sworn I put my alarm on for eight.  
  
SPEEDY: Never mind that, lets OPEN OUR PRESENTS!  
  
ALL: YEAH!  
  
LATER.  
  
Guido was ripping off his present.  
  
GUIDO: WOW, IT'S THE backstratcher 2999...oh.  
  
FRANCINE: Not what you wanted?  
  
GUIDO: Not really. But hey it's better than nothing.  
  
FRANCINE: I got what I wanted, the muti colour claw varnish.  
  
SPEEDY: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I've got your present, Polly.  
  
He gets up and leaves the room.  
  
POLLY: I wonder what it is?  
  
GUIDO: Probably another stupid mirror.  
  
POLLY: (Clenches fists) I hope not.  
  
Speedy comes back holding the red-wrapped present. He gives it to Polly.  
  
SPEEDY: Merry Christmas.  
  
Polly giggles and childishly opens her present. It was a box but something was in there, she opened the lid and saw inside, she gasped and pulled out the glass Garfield figure gently. It glittered brightly.  
  
POLLY: Speedy, it's beautiful but...  
  
SPEEDY: But?  
  
POLLY: I've already got this one!  
  
SPEEDY: (Stunned) But you said you wanted this one!  
  
POLLY: No, this is a hand made glass figure of Garfield standing up with a tray of Lasnaga, I wanted the hand made glass figure of Garfield standing up with a tray of Lasnaga WINKING to complete my collection.  
  
Speedy looked dumbstruck and looked as if he was going to faint.  
  
SPEEDY: All that trouble for nothing, I'm gonna kill the writer!  
  
POLLY: Oh Speedy, don't worry, it was a nice thought. Hey, tonight I'll give you your Christmas present "gift wrapped"!  
  
SPEEDY: Oh, can't I have it now?  
  
POLLY: Uh...b-but Speedy-  
  
SPEEDY: I want everyone to see it! (Polly then whispers in his ear) Oh, probably best that no one see it!  
  
FRANCINE: This has been a nice Christmas.  
  
GUIDO: Yeah, I suppose.  
  
POLLY: We're still together as a team!  
  
SPEEDY: And we still have a very crap writer!  
  
DIV: I resent!  
  
NARRATOR: I don't!  
  
BIG AL: Peace to the entire world!  
  
LUCILLE: Think of others and your loved ones!  
  
THE RESCUE TEAM: JOY TO THE WORLD!  
  
ALL: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!  
  
Pause  
  
GUIDO: By the way, what year are we in?  
  
THE END! 


End file.
